About once a week, someone shares their hopes and dreams with me. Not about life. Or love. But about what they’re expecting from social media.

It’s typically a small business owner with a company Facebook page and maybe one or two other social channels, like Instagram and Twitter.

They tell me they had high hopes for their social media accounts, but they’re frustrated with the number of likes, comments and shares they get.

Or they say they used to spend more time on social media, but now it’s been a few months since they posted anything. “We’re just not getting enough leads or sales for our efforts.” And then they ask if I have any advice.

I might hear about their experience using a low-cost social media resource — a virtual assistant from outside the U.S. or a friend-of-a-friend’s daughter’s husband. The partnership started off okay, they tell me. But then things went sour with off-base marketing messages or grammar issues and typos. And sometimes all three.

I want to be sympathetic, but the thought bubble above my heads says:

Social Media Changed the Game On Us

I’d never call myself a social media guru, and I’m leery when I hear other marketers using that name. But I’ve been working in social media marketing for more than 10 years now and have been a marketer for more than double that amount of time.

Social media has grown and evolved over the years. And my approach for using it with clients — and my general enthusiasm and hope for the effectiveness of social media marketing — has evolved, too.

Are you still stuck in the early 2000s with your expectations about social media? Are you still keeping tabs on your post’s likes, comments and shares? And what if those go away? (Instagram recently hinted it might hide like counts.)

It’s time to face the facts.

The reach and effectiveness of Facebook ads is smaller now, and costs have gone up. I’ve seen business Facebook pages that, despite best efforts, only get a new follower or two on a typical month. And I’ve been through several algorithm changes where Facebook’s reach goes down. And then down some more.

I’ve worked my marketing buns off managing a client’s Twitter account with timely content, creativity, relevant hashtags and a steady, weekly focus for three-plus years. But have they ever received a client from this diligent Twitter activity? Or even a lead? I don’t know for sure.

It’s fun to see likes, comments and shares on our social media posts, but don’t make the mistake of focusing too much on these vanity metrics. We’d be better served to check our website traffic to see if our social media efforts are drawing people to the only online platform we can truly control — our website.

You Can’t Take Likes to The Bank

Instead of paying attention to (or obsessing about) vanity metrics (likes, comments, etc.), you would be better served to spend your time determining if you’re getting actual leads or customers from your Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram activity. Because you can’t take likes to the bank.

If it’s too hard to get this type of information from your customer base, check your Google Analytics account (please say you have one) to see if your social media accounts are driving people to the only online platform you can truly control, your website.

Google Analytics provides tracking code to use throughout your site, with a dashboard to explore and more data than you’d ever care to peruse. If you don’t have Analytics set up, get your web guy or gal (like me) to add it ASAP.

With Analytics tied to your website, you can see — week after week (heck, hour by hour) — the social media-referred traffic that comes your way. And it’s reported for each social channel, including ones you might not expect to see (e.g., Reddit and Yelp). You can spot trends in Analytics and better judge how the new Instagram page you set up is doing. Is anyone visiting your site after double-tapping one of your photos? You would know with Analytics in the background.

Because if you’ve given a social channel, like Instagram, enough time to work its magic for your business — say, three months — and aren’t seeing any traffic referred by it, it could be time to dial back your efforts. Or even delete your business account so you’re not tempted to spend time on a losing proposition.

Your Business Doesn’t Have to be (HYPER) Active On Social Media

Social media’s been around for 20 years or so, depending on who’s doing the calculating. Millions of successful businesses were built without it. While it feels like it’s a must today, it doesn’t mean that every social channel is worth your business’s time and attention.

Instagram is full of colorful, compelling images of yummy food, pretty people, beautiful clothes and #motivationmonday quotes. Is that type of content a natural fit for your business to share? If it’s not, don’t force the fit just to say you have a business Instagram account.

According to Pinterest, it has 291 million monthly active users, with more than half its base outside the U.S. Is Pinterest a must for your business? It depends on what you sell and how people buy from you. If you’re a gym in a local town, Pinterest shouldn’t be a top priority for you, given the fact you’d be spending time building a following that could be cities, states and even countries away from your local business.

Be Smart About The Marketing Approach You Use

Today, most of us can’t live without social media. But could your business live without social media? Probably. But I’m not advocating you abandon it entirely. I’m asking you to rethink it as a must-have (or a must-spend-hours-on) tactic when it takes significant time and money — because your hours aren’t free — without delivering a noticeable ROI.

Being selective about your use of social media doesn’t mean your company isn’t fun, social or worthwhile to do business with. It means you’re smart enough to prioritize your marketing efforts and dollars — and that makes you a strategic, thoughtful business person.

As my business coach Ilise Benun likes to say:

Most people do marketing backwards. They start with the marketing tools. “I should be on social media,” they say to me. Or “I should be on Instagram, right?”

Not necessarily.

Choose the marketing tools only when you know who you’re trying to reach and what message they need to hear. Then use the right tools to reach them.

Photos: Daria Nepriakhina Via Unsplash